hey jude. good ibning.

so how was jerrys timely group messages you received these past few weeks. morning ibning. goodmorning. ibning. and then last night hed text ‘kamusta ka na jud?’

i kind of was expecting it since i dont expect him to keep hitting around the bushes. so kudos to whatever led him to specify the message to me.

this is nice. him trying to ask how i am. up until he asked about youknow. then though i never asked. hed pour this information of his recent breakup as well.

tuodbala. do i have a sign hanging on my head telling that i can be your breakup hero or confidant.

i know. how you must all feel. all these negative emotions. broken hopes broken everything. believe me i do know.

but please. can someone just. please. can you. please. i beg of you. leave me alone.

wala ko energy. para batyagon nabatyag mo. sa akon pa lang. kulang na. sa imo pa ayhan.

but in the event that i do. you must be one heck of a special person if i get to drown myself with your heartaches as well.

crap.

hey jude. goodmorning.

so how was the call you received from aizalyn first thing in the morning. asking how you are. how your heart is. i think that is sweet until she pours details of her recent heartbreak to you. kay she believes you must know how she feels and what to do about everything.

i do know and im not complaining ok.

its funny. how we all undergo this same phase after breakups. tally the things you believe your relationship was/ willbe vs the hell that is/ are happening to it right now. and the score. well it never makes sense.

so gave her tons of advice. and laughed so hard because man people seriously cant take their own advice can they. at least it would do us all good if she hopefully listens to what ive said.

salamat sa pagkamusta. made me evaluate my own. so where do i stand now.

sikreto. apir!

note to self.

note to self.

Shift Solve Equals

so i held my calcu for the first time in a while and i did not know what to do with the memories which flooded my of course shitty mind.
i held it and i just stared with the keys which i painted with clear nailpolish.
i had to start reviewing so i borrowed geds book from when she reviewd in excel.
so this moment happened, i was deep in solving algebra then i swear i heard your voice. then i was transported in cebu. in that classroom. in that seat right beside you. laughing on that alambors guy.
so this got me on pause for a long while then stopped my ‘reviewing’ for the night. drowned myself by thoughts of you all throughout the rapid eye movement stage.
i dreamt of you. of that never ending meetups we have after a long while that we havent seen each other in which
i. just. want. to. hold. you. and. wish. to. God. that. when. i. finally. do. that. itll. never. end.

but it all did.

gahapdi na naman so ill stop.

"Of course I’m tired of being brave. I’m tired of holding up my head, of saying no. Most days, my bones ache with the weight of it. I want to be soft. I want to be quiet. I want to collapse in on myself, go supernova with the way I long to be cowardly."

backshelfpoet (d.a.s.)
took me a year to finally watch this movie. been on the list since i came to this city. supposed to be an inside joke but given the situation. this gave me a deeper sense than expected. cheers for the random unrequited love we hopefully all? experiance. and oh this classic regal scene of course. i can seriously spit the dialogue for you man. any time of day because, oo. kaibigan mo ako. kaibigan mo LANG ako.

took me a year to finally watch this movie. been on the list since i came to this city. supposed to be an inside joke but given the situation. this gave me a deeper sense than expected. cheers for the random unrequited love we hopefully all? experiance. and oh this classic regal scene of course. i can seriously spit the dialogue for you man. any time of day because, oo. kaibigan mo ako. kaibigan mo LANG ako.

"paghalong kamo palihog. salamat."

Yes, This One is For You

joycepring:

The wind pierced violently

beyond our window

And I wondered how easily it was

for you to walk away

when I couldn’t

love

you

myself

us

anymore

Not a pause nor a break

not even a deep swallow of

spit

or sword

inside your

dry

mouth

not a thing

it was as if

you were just

waiting

dreading

fumbling

for my cue

to

let

go

"Maybe one day it will be cheering even to remember these things."

Virgil, Aeneid, Book 1 (via nevver)

cheering. huuuuu.

so i received an email today that got me this very light hope. a very warm friendly spark when its been dark everywhere like that feels you know. makes you happy though so fleeting. so the email. will take an exam on this cool government office that makes you plead loyalty to the Philippine Islands. that scored me laughs. not that would require me effort. i love my home. this exam will equal an awesome job. so. will read textbooks and bond with my scical very soon.

so i received an email today that got me this very light hope. a very warm friendly spark when its been dark everywhere like that feels you know. makes you happy though so fleeting. so the email. will take an exam on this cool government office that makes you plead loyalty to the Philippine Islands. that scored me laughs. not that would require me effort. i love my home. this exam will equal an awesome job. so. will read textbooks and bond with my scical very soon.