kakao what?

i received 3 messages in kakao. i thought it would be from sues kasi im only using it because of her. but kakao and its stupid computer generated messaging decided to sort of order me saying ‘we thought you might like to connect with *********’ i got super confused at first since the name on my contacts did not match the name kakaos being crazy about. so i took a moment. the moment did not work. why even click a profile named after my tumblr. and so. that was when i realized that i saved this someones name as tuodbala on my phone contact. so ok. ‘like to connect’ doesnt sound bad.

"ba’t ba ayaw mo pa? kailan pa ba yun? o e ang tagal na pala! ano ba yan."

Richard aka RickyMartin

"There are a few things in life so beautiful they hurt: swimming in the ocean while it rains, reading alone in empty libraries, the sea of stars that appear when you’re miles away from the neon lights of the city, bars after 2am, walking in the wilderness, all the phases of the moon, the things we do not know about the universe, and you."

Beau Taplin || and you. (via koreyan)

"

There is a shipwreck between your ribs and it took eighteen years
for me to understand how to understand your kind of drowning.

There are people who cannot be held quietly. There are screams
that are never externalized. If I looked at the photo albums of your
past twenty years, all I would find are decibel meter graphs of
phone calls and the intensity of your silence as you sat
smoking cigarettes in the garage.

There is a shipwreck between your ribs. You are a box with
fragile written on it, and so many people have not handled you
with care.

And for the first time, I understand that I will never know
how to apologize for being
one of them.

"

Shinji Moon, What It Took To Understand (via cactuslungs)

"they say im great at first but then the magic fades into an awful hue of dismal views and pessimistic attitude."

stand too close - motion city soundtrack

i appreciate how mart can tiptoe around a subject that most involve my personal thoughts. and what ive been through. i appreciate how both of them. jpj included. can hand me this high respect i was not expecting. of course when we start to talk about classmates. work. recent happenings. love life. oh we come to a list. and when im sure theyd inevitably wander to ‘the’ topic. they dont. so i guess i believe they do get me. or if they dont. they get it enough to respect my silence. they let me be. dont get me wrong. i can talk about it. its just that i did not know what to say. anymore. it would just require a whole lot of energy from me both emotionally mentally and physically. so why even start. indi lang ko nga maistorya ko ni sa duha. kay kung inagyan lang nastoryahan. sila lang kaintindi. they know how. difficult. it is. it was. it all were. so salamat. for giving me this unusual friendship. eeewww.

she frets and complains now.
she hurts now.
she cries now.

hey she decided it.
but it all took her by surprise.
the enormity of sadness.

he would ask her then if she ever gave it a thought before the decisions
before she chose to leave
to distance herself
to get away

she felt so dumb and stupid
and so arrogant that she took everything for granted
she thought that things would never change
things with him would never change

but before he did, she was way way passed him
she changed without both of them knowing
though it may seem shes ok
well she is
oh she tried very hard to look ok

but only if he looked closer
then you would see that people around her
is wearing her out

so no, she did not gave a good thought before she left
she could not have gave it a good thought when everything was a giant mess

she did not know how to deal with all the pain
because it was not everyday she saw her father like that
her mother like that
her siblings like that

for the first time
it was too much for her

and she was a fool to believe that the pain would end if she left

little did she know he had something in store for her
far more greater
than she ever imagined

on repeat.

on repeat.

pirme lang that i always choose to keep quiet and not speak. to wander my thoughts in all kinds of scenarios and possibilities. subjective huo. overthinking definitely. sang ok na kami ni denz after an awkward semester. the funniest thing he said to me was that i overthink kuno. and that overthinking he said is like masturbating. yes. he told me that. ugok gid ni si denz. its nice when i get to talk to him. we always exchange notes of the music we listen to for the season and some other stuff. also. - natulugan ko dipugaaaaaa hahahahaha 12PM bago bugtaw